cannon's giant posterous http://jcannon.posterous.com where the city by the bay hometown nine are a way of life posterous.com Mon, 30 May 2011 07:56:00 -0700 Alabama Letter of Thanks for Your Support! http://jcannon.posterous.com/alabama-letter-of-thanks-for-your-support http://jcannon.posterous.com/alabama-letter-of-thanks-for-your-support

Dear Family and Friends,

We wanted to write to give you a brief overview of our trip to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, this past weekend in addition to thanking you again for your support. We wanted to connect with you sooner rather than later. As an update, donations continued to come in up until the time we left on Friday morning.

On Saturday, we were able to work with four organizations: American Red Cross, Tuscaloosa Emergency Services, Project Blessings, and the Humane Society of West Alabama. All told we delivered 20 boxes/bags of donated clothing (casual and business), shoes, and food supplies to the agencies. Additionally, we were able to gather a “needs” list from the agencies and use $2,000 of donated funds to meet those specific requests.

The damage in Tuscaloosa is devastating. It was still visibly heartbreaking to witness even though the tornado hit nearly one month ago. To come home and see the Joplin tornado on television has added new poignancy to our experience. In Tuscaloosa, we saw a victim of the tornado walk up to a supply warehouse and ask for a table and utensils. All of her stuff was missing after the tornado. Another family needed diapers that were immediately provided. Others still needed supplies from the food bank. We knew that there was a need, but perhaps we were still taken back a bit to see it first hand.

We want to praise God for providing the vision for this trip. We thank you for your prayers. We thank you for providing the donations to make it happen. Many lives will be touched as the Lord uses your generosity to provide for the victims of this tragedy. It was an honor for us to go on this trip and deliver supplies. We enjoyed serving those with needs. A lot of people have told us that they are impressed with what we were doing, but we know that God orchestrated all of this. We are very ordinary people (half of our duo is unemployed). God provided three times what we had hoped to raise for the victims. It has been a humbling experience to be used by Him in this situation. We want to encourage others to know that if we can do it you can too!

We look forward to talking with you in person about the trip. Also, we have a full album of pictures posted on each of our Facebook pages. You can use the public link below to view the photos that include our visit to the campus of the University of Alabama that is within a mile of the tornado damage. Thank you again for your support.

Love,

Reagan and Jason Cannon  

Facebook link (cut and paste into web browser)

 

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150261337773974.385405.782583973&a...

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Tue, 10 May 2011 22:51:00 -0700 Alabama Relief Update! http://jcannon.posterous.com/alabama-relief-update http://jcannon.posterous.com/alabama-relief-update

Well, I never in my wildest predictions could have come up with what has transpired. The Alabama relief goal has been reached, and then blown out of the water! I had started with a goal of $1,000 in relief donations for the tornado victims. That number has been surpassed and the actual amount so far is quickly closing in on $1,500. I am so thankful for this answer to prayer. The Red Cross told us yesterday that people are in need of tents as shelters along with coolers to replace missing or destroyed refrigerators. I am researching the best place to acquire as many of those items as possible. Thank you again for your prayers and gifts to this great cause. Praise God for His love and faithfulness! Coming soon: a blog entry on the Mavericks sweep of the Lakers. The highlight will be a photograph of my mom during game 4 signaling to Phil Jackson it's time to call a timeout from her seat in section 219. 

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Wed, 04 May 2011 09:09:00 -0700 Alabama and I need help! http://jcannon.posterous.com/alabama-and-i-need-help http://jcannon.posterous.com/alabama-and-i-need-help

 

There is only one state that we can choose in fifth grade for our state report. For me, it was Alabama. 

 

Yesterday I was walking my dogs, Gervin and Scout, and I began to think about the news of the day which of course was bin Laden's death. That in and of itself is a topic for another day. I was thinking about how it would push the news of the Alabama tornado off the radar at a time when it needs it most. I would guess that nationally folks are past the initial shock stage of the damage. I know I tend not to dwell on news stories after the become stale which these days is about 72 hours. I was not sure what to think about the story, but I just kind of started talking to God about it. Within the space of two blocks He spoke back. It wasn't caught up in static or lost by my poor translating skills. He told me, "Go to Alabama and be a doer of the word."

 

So over the course of yesterday I prayerfully began to consider a plan of action. It has been an interesting process for me. I am unemployed still so carving out the time is easy enough, but there is a slight sense of guilt that everyone else would do the same thing I am but has to work. But I am simultaneously thrilled that I have available time, and I want to use it. The other aspect of the operation has to do with collecting money and supply donations. I don't think I have ever asked people for stuff or money before. I have to get over it! People need the help! By financing the trip myself I can guarantee that everything donated is distributed in Alabama. Still, if you're like me, it takes some getting used to. 

 

After returning from the walk, I repeatedly tried to get in touch with the Alabama Red Cross but its voice mail was full. I hunted around the internet and came across a news article discussing the Knoxville, Tennessee, chapter of the Red Cross. They were collecting items to be sent down including all basic needs articles. When Reagan got home from work, I told her about the idea. Today at work she discovered that one of her co-workers has parents in T-town (Tuscaloosa) that are volunteering! They can help us get connected with an organization there. She also received a donation from a co-worker - the first one! 

We are off and running with this. Pray for those that we can encourage in Alabama. I am going to go there on May 16. I don't know for how long, or what all I will have to bring, but I am praying for BIG things. If you want to donate items or money that will be used on clothes, hygiene products, toys for kids, pillows, cleaning supplies, etc. please get in touch with me. I can't get you a tax write off receipt, but I can promise you that I will deliver your gift to the people. I have set a goal of $1,000 dollars worth of items/financial contributions toward purchased supplies. I only have about ten days! Help me reach my goal!

If you would like to help, contact me at jasoncannon7@gmail.com.

Seriously, if Charlie Sheen can do it, so can you. Winning. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mon, 28 Mar 2011 11:49:00 -0700 The Southeast Region Final is a Classic (or The Day I Met Gus Johnson) http://jcannon.posterous.com/the-southeast-region-final-is-a-classic-or-th http://jcannon.posterous.com/the-southeast-region-final-is-a-classic-or-th

Imag0038

When Florida guard Erving Walker drilled a three point shot to give his Gators a 70-69 lead with less than two minutes remaining in overtime of the Southeast Region Final this past Saturday, there were a lot of exalting fist pumps in the crowd.

When Shelvin Mack answered by nailing a three pointer from the top of the circle moments later to push Butler back ahead 72-70 many reacted by jumping out of their seats.

Nobody in the building was more pumped to be watching the hotly contested game between Butler and Florida than the great Gus Johnson. I watched him react to every possession with the same enthusiasm of the players, coaches, and fans in the building. It was a tight, tense game, and even though I could not hear a word he was saying his body language said it all: The game we are watching is epic. 

When I was broadcasting I tried to do something similar in that I wanted to create a vibe that the game happening now is important. For some broadcasters they do that with a cool detachment especially on television. The Pat Sumerall/Vin Scully school of broadcasting lets the picture do the talking. To me that works well in a sport like baseball where the crescendo of a moment has time to build before a pitch is thrown. In football the huddle prepares the audience for the next play. The build up is built into the sport. But in basketball or hockey the broadcaster plays a more central role in building the moment. The ball or puck is always in play, but that doesn’t mean it is a crucial spot in the game.

What makes Gus Johnson great is his ability to build the moment with his enthusiasm while still maintaining his composure to provide context for the play. I think that is what separates him from everyone else. I am sure he provided more examples of that during the Butler/Florida game.

When the final horn sounded the Bulldogs had, remarkably, clinched their second consecutive trip to the Final Four, and unheard of accomplishment for a mid-major program no matter how many talking heads are saying that those level programs no longer exist.

I was sitting in the 300 level at midcourt, and when the set up for the presentation began I decided to see if I could sneak through downstairs to get a better look at Butler cutting down the nets. I had not been to an Elite Eight game before, so I wanted to check it out.

When I reached the floor who should be standing there? Gus Johnson.

There are days that I wish I was still in broadcasting. I miss it. I miss the moments where the game is on the line. I miss the momentum changes. I miss the challenge of using the right word in the right moment without any chance to fix it if I messed up.

But most of all I miss what Gus said what it is all about for him.

“We are just having fun,” he said with a smile in a slightly hoarse voice.

When Gus is behind the mic aren’t we all?

 

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Mon, 21 Mar 2011 19:33:00 -0700 No caffeine was used in the making of this film http://jcannon.posterous.com/no-caffeine-was-used-in-the-making-of-this-fi http://jcannon.posterous.com/no-caffeine-was-used-in-the-making-of-this-fi

Here's a little taste of that sweet jumper and ability to get in the lane - and in the words of Bill Raftery - get to the tin!


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Sat, 19 Mar 2011 00:44:00 -0700 My NCAA Tournament Wish http://jcannon.posterous.com/my-ncaa-tournament-wish http://jcannon.posterous.com/my-ncaa-tournament-wish

I have to step away from Giants analysis again. Yes they are 17-6, but it is Spring Training. Their record is as worthless as game used Bruce Pearl orange tie. I want to talk about the NCAA Tournament. Specifically, Gus Johnson. I know this guy has gotten a lot of pub the last few years. Broadcasting is such a subjective thing and most people with personalities don't rise to the top. Jim Nantz will always call the Final Four games because he's such a corporate sounding guy. That's not a shot; it's a fact.

Back to Gus (Can I call him that? I feel like I would if I met him so we'll go ahead). His verbal fits at the height of tension are the best. And he's already had BUTLER . . AT THE BUZZER! and JEEOORGE MASON! in the first two days. I wish he could call all the games. He's the only guy that sounds like me. Someone one from Marquette airballed a 3 today and Len Elmore says, "He's 3 of 12 from three this year." And Gus says, "Your open for a reason, kid." Brilliant. He gets excited but still manages to stay in the moment and say the right thing. He was just born to do it.

I wish he narrated my life. "And Cannon got Gervin to sit down the first time HE ASKED!!!" Perhaps another example would be when I finally pull my carcass out of bed. Gus could holler, "HE'S DONE IT!  OOOHHHHHH, MY GOODNESS!

This kind of works the same way I have always wanted music to start playing when I walk into certain rooms of the house. I am antitechnology in many ways but a Gus ring tone would be nice. "Your phone is ringing! ANSWER IT! He didn't answer it. COOOOOLD BLOODED!"

"He's putting on his rainbows. AND THEY STILL FIT! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

I love Gus Johnson.

Mostly I love him for this call of my Denver Broncos. The only thing missing is his "run from the cops speed" line.

COOOOOOOLD BLOODED!

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Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:45:00 -0700 White noise http://jcannon.posterous.com/white-noise http://jcannon.posterous.com/white-noise

I want to take a brief respite from Giants baseball to address world events. I am writing my thesis on George Orwell. Let me sum up every news conference I have seen over the past three weeks on everything from Libya to the nuclear plant problem in Japan to the labor strife in Wisconsin with this quote from Orwell's 1946 essay, "Poetics and the English Language." 

"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's dedicated aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink."

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Thu, 10 Mar 2011 11:49:00 -0800 Well, look who it is . . Ryan Vogelsong http://jcannon.posterous.com/well-look-who-it-is-ryan-vogelsong http://jcannon.posterous.com/well-look-who-it-is-ryan-vogelsong

For a few weeks, during the summer of 2001, I ran around the halls of the office of the Fresno Grizzlies. I didn’t do anything very important. I helped write game notes, compose PA scripts, and drive around copies of Fresno Stadium Scene, a monthly newspaper I used to beg local liquor storeowners to keep on hand so that they could be passed out to fans. Of course it sounds monotonous, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

(Well, except the time I said during the top of the eighth inning of a 1-0 game how glad I was that it was quickly coming to an end. I don’t know if a person has simultaneously received as many profanity-laced tirades hurled in their direction as I did this side of Camp Pendleton. The game went into extra innings by the way. Lesson learned.)

In those days the uniforms were purple and the outfielders had to dodge potholes in the Beiden Field grass. The Giants were not known for their development of minor league players. Instead, they had the philosophy of using key prospects as large chips in trades with other ballclubs for their veteran players.

That year the Grizzlies, the Pacific Coast League affiliate of the Giants, boasted the top prospect in the organization, starting pitcher Kurt Ainsworth. He was a stud guy from LSU and a first round pick. He was a nice guy too, and I remember him telling me that season he was learning to deal with failure for one of the first times in his professional career. But his upside was tremendous. Of course, you will remember the standing ovation he received after dominating the Dodgers for eight innings. 

(Eventually, Ainsworth was traded to the Baltimore Orioles for everyone’s favorite fat kid, Sidney Ponson.)

However, the best starter on that Grizzlies team was Ryan Vogelsong, a right hander, whose 0.91 WHIP and 2.79 ERA were turning some heads. Those numbers in the PCL are difficult for starting pitchers to achieve, and he was having quite a season. And then, true to the philosophy, Vogelsong was shipped to the Pittsburgh Pirates in a package for Jason Schmidt and John Vander Wal.

It wound up being one of Brian Sabean’s best trades as the General Manager of the Giants. There isn’t much dispute about that. But here was Vogelsong shipped to a new team and sent to its Triple A affiliate, the Nashville Sounds. The great irony was seeing Vogelsong the next day at the ballpark as he got ready to face his former team. The Sounds (Sound?) were in Fresno to play the Grizzlies.

I remember being torn at that moment about the trade. I felt kind of bad for the guy. I didn’t know him or anything, but it seemed like he was shipped of to Siberia (true). Yet, who knew, he would get a lot closer to Siberia as his career continued (truer still).

This season he is back in Giants camp competing for a spot in the bullpen. He has been effective this spring playing for the organization that traded him almost 10 full seasons ago.

I, for one, hope he makes it. I think Vogelsong is a great story. If he can’t crack the roster and go north with the club it might come down to once again spending time in Fresno.  All I can say about that is he won't be wearing purple, and he won’t have to get his ankles wrapped before shagging BP in the outfield. 

Photo_on_2011-03-10_at_13

 

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Tue, 08 Mar 2011 10:58:00 -0800 Extra Baggs is the best Giants online read, its comment section is the worst http://jcannon.posterous.com/extra-baggs-is-the-best-giants-online-read-it http://jcannon.posterous.com/extra-baggs-is-the-best-giants-online-read-it

I have never met Andrew Baggarly. I don't know much about him. However, it is very obvious that his coverage of the Giants - specifically his blog - is the best out there. I would go as far as to argue that his work as a beat writer could be put up against anyone involved with a Major League club and come out ahead. He is one of the best, if not the best. 

Each season he adds a new wrinkle to his coverage that adds further depth to his coverage. This year its an embedded YouTube clip he calls "The Rundown." This offseason he wrote a book about last season's World Series champions. All that is to say that he doesn't rest on his success but continues to improve his overall presentation. 

Not to be lost in all that is the fact that Baggarly provides the best Giants writing and anecdotes found anywhere. His intelligence and wit are evident in his writing. Readers should also be able to pick up on the fact that he has cultivated good relationships with those inside the clubhouse. The players talk to him as evidenced by Aubrey Huff sticking around after a playoff game last season, and Buster Posey's teasing this week. A lot of writers are not able to "get in good" with the players because they are either too old and devoid of pop culture knowledge or they are out to stir it up.

Nobody enjoys reading his blog more than I do. I don't really check out the webcast thing too much but the time or two in which I saw it I thought it was solid. 

Having said all that, I can firmly say that I no longer include reading the comments section as part of reading the Extra Baggs blog. For awhile there were some readers that had some interesting takes along with some really funny posters whose dry humor was great. These days it's a bunch of hacks. I know that one price of winning is bandwagon fans, but some folks have taken it to a new level.

It's a bunch of people who think Posey is cute and don't know he was paid six million to sign and who care more about Brian Wilson's appearances on TV than his performance on the mound.

The other day someone asked in the comments section of Extra Baggs about the specifics of a four strikeout inning, and then proceeded to announce they had already blogged about it. Let this be a pair of lessons: don't read blogs by fans and it's these folks that allow Larry Baer to charge $31.25 for a bleacher seat (rows 1-25) for a Wednesday night game against the Dodgers. 

I am all for people talking about the Giants. Hey I'm wasting time on this blog right now. But at some point the ridiculousness is too much. 

One of the best things about following the Giants is reading the work of Baggarly. One of the worst is reading the "hot sports opinions" that follow it. 

 

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Mon, 07 Mar 2011 20:37:00 -0800 Giants win Game 6 of the World Series! http://jcannon.posterous.com/giants-win-game-6-of-the-world-series http://jcannon.posterous.com/giants-win-game-6-of-the-world-series

Just kidding. The Giants beat the Texas Rangers tonight, 4-1. But it's only Spring Training. So let's just take a deep breath everybody. 

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Mon, 07 Mar 2011 11:10:00 -0800 Giants lose game, don't cry http://jcannon.posterous.com/giants-lose-game-dont-cry http://jcannon.posterous.com/giants-lose-game-dont-cry

The San Francisco Giants lost to the Oakland A's, 6-0, over the weekend and, in the clubhouse afterward, refused to cry over it.

“No, I am not really upset about losing the game,” said second baseman Freddy Sanchez. “We would love to win every game that we play, but Spring Training is about getting prepared for the season not winning every game at all costs.”

The sentiment was echoed by the rest of the Giants who weren’t sure why they would cry in the first place. “Can shedding tears by healthy for you? Sure, I don’t see why not,” said left handed reliever Alex Hinshaw. “But I don’t think too many guys are going to get worked up over a game at this point in the year. It wasn’t exactly a playoff game.”

Perhaps the pressure of winning a championship last season has taken the pressure off the 2011 edition of the Giants. Maybe the mood in the clubhouse has lightened significantly since the team won it all last season.

Travis Ishikawa: “I don’t like that is true at all. We enjoy being around each other and we have a great time together as a team. We take our baseball very seriously don’t get me wrong, but the organic growth of this ballclub as the season progressed last year was a special thing to be apart of, and I think that allows us to take adversity in stride.”

Since most Giants seemed perplexed about crying after games the wisdom of well- traveled reliever Guillermo Mota was sought out.

“No one get upset like that since I been here,” said Mota. “Only one guy I seen in my career that do that. When I was with the Dodgers, Matt Kemp, he cry a lot.”

 

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Sun, 06 Mar 2011 10:19:00 -0800 All Aboard the Orange (and Black) Belt Bus http://jcannon.posterous.com/all-aboard-the-orange-and-black-belt-bus http://jcannon.posterous.com/all-aboard-the-orange-and-black-belt-bus

Henry Schulman and Andrew Baggarly both profiled Giants first base prospect Brandon Belt in this mornings Bay Area newspapers. Belt is definitely en vogue these days as well he should be. 

I still firmly believe he is ticketed to Fresno to open the season which is a good thing. You can read my thoughts on the matter by scrolling down six inches. I'm just happy Giants scouts are in the news for finding guys that can hit and that ownership no longer prefers Michael Tucker free agent signings over first round draft picks. The next phase of development for San Francisco's front office is its Latin American free agent signings because Angel Villalona is a murderer, and Rafael Rodriguez has yet to really impress anyone after Felipe Alou said he reminded him of a young Vlad Guerrero. 

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Sat, 05 Mar 2011 14:12:00 -0800 I'm not much of a singer, but . . http://jcannon.posterous.com/im-not-much-of-a-singer-but http://jcannon.posterous.com/im-not-much-of-a-singer-but

I recently saw the Giants season ticket commercial featuring Big Time Timmy Jim Lincecum and others enjoying the parade and inviting you to call for season tickets. However, it was hearing Steve Perry in the background that gave me chills. It brought back to mind singing "Lights" during game two of the World Series. It was a moment of emotional intensity inside a ballpark that - for me - ranks alongside witnessing Brian Johnson's '97 miracle homer to left on the heels of Rod Beck escaping a bases loaded, nobody out, jam, and Aaron Rowand's catch as he crashed into the wall that kept Jonathan Sanchez's no-hitter intact in the ninth inning.

I didn't shoot this. I was sitting in the arcade, but this is a great video, and I thought you might enjoy it. I still remember them showing Coit Tower lit up in orange on the scoreboard toward the end. It was awesome. The Rangers had no chance. 

If you missed it, or want to relive it, check it out. 

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Sat, 05 Mar 2011 01:00:00 -0800 My dog, 10 months, wants to eat, not talk Giants baseball http://jcannon.posterous.com/my-dog-10-months-wants-to-eat-nap-not-talk-gi http://jcannon.posterous.com/my-dog-10-months-wants-to-eat-nap-not-talk-gi

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In a shocking display of not wanting to participate, my ten-month old American Bulldog, Scout, refused to predict the results of the Giants 2011 season and instead wanted me to serve her dinner.

While not a baseball enthusiast, Scout has been known to chase a tennis ball until it rolls to a stop whereupon she sniffs it once or twice before trotting away. I had hoped to pick her brain about what the Giants will do in the National League West in twenty eleven only to have her tweak her head to a 45-degree angle in apparent confusion over why I wasn't proceeding to the pantry.

She then walked over to her food dish and sit down next to it. I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was 17 minutes past her usual feeding time. “Scout,” I asked pleasantly. “How do you think the Giants will fare this season?” She simply stared at me before reaching out her left paw and setting it on the rim of the food dish.

Despite her youth, Scout has extensive experience in sports. She likes to get her cardio workout everyday through a long walk that sometimes includes a visit to the park. She also works on her quickness through special stop and start exercises that include chasing other dogs before bringing them to the ground by snaring one of their back legs by the teeth. (I guess we all have a little Lou Piniella, Giants consultant, down deep inside.)

Unfortunately, for myself, and Giants fans everywhere, we will have to make our own prognostications about the upcoming season. I forsee good things, but only time will tell. In the meantime, Scout is crunching away at her cup and a half of food before she prepares for another nap. Oh well, I tried. Until next time.

*** On a side note, upon eating, Scout did indicate she thought the Chicago White Sox would win the American League Central, and that it “wouldn’t even be close.” She also said (barked?) that Giants pitching coach, Dave Righetti, would have a pen clipped to his jersey in at least 80 percent of his television shots this year. ***



 

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Sat, 05 Mar 2011 00:08:00 -0800 I've got a fever, and the only cure is more Brandon Belt (in June). http://jcannon.posterous.com/ive-got-a-fever-and-the-only-cure-is-more-bra http://jcannon.posterous.com/ive-got-a-fever-and-the-only-cure-is-more-bra

Gap power, line drives all over the yard, a sweet glove, and now his first spring training bomb to go with it. This kid Brandon Belt can play, and he should be a key offensive component for the 2011 Giants. And that is exactly why they would be best served by sending him to Fresno to get more everyday seasoning of at least 200 at bats. He will benefit from seeing off speed stuff from pitchers that have competed, or soon might, at the major league level.

I understand the buzz around Belt includes kicking around the name of Buster Posey because he was the rookie of the year in 2010. However, Posey’s bat was always going to play in the big leagues; it was his defense and game calling skills that Fresno manager Steve Decker honed in on during their brief stint together. I could hardly wait to see what Posey could do for the Giants, and I feel the same way about Belt. The key is to make sure he is intentionally set up for success.

The interesting things about Belt is that his glove is already there. He could pick a clean first base in the bigs right now. However, a few months spent honing his stroke in Triple A gives him time to do one of two things – either (a) continue to hit like crazy and establish ridiculous confidence or (b) hit a rough patch and work out of a slump for the first time in his professional career, which ought to establish ridiculous confidence. It will help him continue to learn the “everydayness” (thanks Mike Rizzo) of playing pro ball.

I think the Giants ought to view their handling of Posey, and his consequent level of success, and use it as a model for Belt. Anyone that can .337 in the Eastern League, as Belt did, has a serious offensive skill set. And I would attribute the slow down at the end of the year in the 13 game stint at Fresno as the end to a long, first professional season. So we all know that Belt can play. The prudent thing is to make sure he can play with the highest confidence level possible born out of experience.

I don’t know who Belt reminds you of, but he slumpbusts me right in the face as a potential reincarnation of Mark Grace with perhaps a bit more pop. Uh, that didn't sound right. Anyway, moving on, nothing to see here. Grace had a tremendous career and burst onto the scene as an instant sensation at Wrigley Field during the 1988 season. But even he needed some experience in the minor leagues. He had over 1,000 plate appearances in two plus years in the Cubs’ system following a great collegiate career that ended at San Diego State. By comparison, Belt has dug into the box in fewer than half of Grace’s number of minor league at bats.

Whether Belt has the rookie impact of Posey, or J.R. Phillips, remains to be seen. He might not have either, which is fine. He will simply have the impact and career of Brandon Belt. But to maximize his chances of raking out of the gate, a few hundred more plate appearances in Triple A would serve him well. Besides, in Fresno he can hit up Me-N-Ed’s Pizza after the ballgame; so he’s fine. 

 

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Fri, 04 Mar 2011 22:45:00 -0800 cain's elbow talks. i don't handle it well. http://jcannon.posterous.com/cains-elbow-talks-i-dont-handle-it-well http://jcannon.posterous.com/cains-elbow-talks-i-dont-handle-it-well

below is a photograph of my elbow, just so we all know what we are talking about.

Photo_on_2011-03-05_at_00

moments ago i got off the phone with matt cain’s elbow and wanted to pass along what i learned to you.  i asked the questions. the elbow answered them.

 Q: you are still physically attached to matt cain’s shoulder, are you not?

A: Yes, I am Jason. Technically by the humerus, a long bone that extends down the arm from the shoulder. The deltoid muscle is connected too. It plays a key role in that it allows any actions by myself to rotate - in this case - Matt’s shoulder.

Q: whew, I feel better. I was freaking out when I read you had exploded!

A: Oh my goodness; you have been reading too much funny business on the internet. Listen, I may or may not have met up with Rich’s elbow a time or two during the offseason to have lunch. Otherwise, I was literally tucked underneath epidermis the entire winter. It is nothing to work yourself into a tizzie over.

Q: rich’s elbow? what is that?

A: I have been friends with Rich Harden’s elbow for a number of years. He is a tremendous extremity, and we enjoy each other’s company from time to time, especially when we get to catch up before Spring Training.

Q: what?!??!!

A: Are you okay? Young man, you get agitated over the most harmless of matters.

Q: (stammering) uh, oh my goodness, uh, what does cainer think about all this?

A: Cainer? Oh, you mean Matt. He is simply in incredible physical condition. He pitched exceptionally well during the post-season, as you know, and is looking forward to a great season in two thousand eleven. He spent countless hours working out in the offseason almost like he forgot about all of his success. (pause) That is insane, right?

Q: wain wright? wainwright! what do you mean about WAINWRIGHT??!! 

A: You are a troubled soul, Jason. Please let your readers – I assume your wife reads in addition to yourself – know that I will have my preparations for the season fully consummated by the end of March and will be ready for the regular season.

there you have it. the elbow is absolutely shredded, and the season is lost before it begins. thank goodness for jeff suppan’s six scoreless innings! until next time. 

 

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Fri, 04 Mar 2011 21:05:00 -0800 the (ma)sheen? star's secret tweets revealed http://jcannon.posterous.com/charlie-masheen-secret-tweets-revealed http://jcannon.posterous.com/charlie-masheen-secret-tweets-revealed

I just reached in my pocket and unfolded a terribly crinkled piece of paper. On it were ten Twitter entries from SFgiantmasheenpartdeux. The list included a pic of a man wearing an adjustable Giants hat seen in interviews this week.

Enjoy.

brian wilson recently came over and introduced me to the machine. wrong i am the masheen!

wilson kept running up and down my staircase intentionally. puzzling.

trying to get major league rebooted. and by rebooted i am talking about that passed out chic i scooped up from a bus stop in newport beach! i am the masheen!!

everyone knows my char. Wild Thing is awesome. it is combo of emilio, paul shuey, and gr8tness!

my fav baseball player is the one in ankle socks that makes a square of coke around home plate.

once had a sleep over with brady anderson and mr. met. that's where two and a half men came from. 

high on a drug and that drug is charlie masheen!

hey miggy cabrera yur nuthin!! u need to party with my tiger blood!

never forgot that clinic tim raines taught me to belly slide. shout out to u rock!!

just got down in my mind with cartoon russian leopard from olympics. that must blow your mind. i am the masheen!

calling jeff wilpon for financial advice

brian wilson keeps testing me. says his magical beard is impressed with mine. 

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